What if we reframe Coronavirus as an enforced sabbatical from everyday life?
Turn on any radio news programme right now and you’re likely to hear the phrase ‘Italy is 2 weeks ahead of us’. Italy has been living with the implications of Coronavirus or COVID-19 for 2 weeks longer than the UK and as a nation we’re still hurrying to pick up the pieces in their wake. As the wife of a UK doctor, I feel like I’m Italy to my friends’ UK: for weeks I’ve been living with statistics and realities of this pandemic in ways that shocked those around me when I discussed them. Yet, I’m finally seeing that there are positives to this, let me explain.
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| Kingdom Enduro - Africa's Most Badass Enduro |
Two weeks ago, when it was clear in our household that we were heading towards mass infection, I took the decision to pull out of Kingdom Enduro in Lesotho, Africa. This is a trip that I’ve been dreaming of and working towards for over a year. I was devastated but I knew that if I left the UK there was a very real chance I wouldn’t get back in, that I could be marooned there and my kids would be stuck with no-one to look after them while their Dad was at work and even worse, I could spread the infection in the beautiful Mountain Kingdom where there is little enough formal healthcare. Within days all my work for the next 6 months was cancelled as well as trips abroad for work and pleasure. Just like so many people are now, I was in shock and my anxiety levels spiked as the terrifying reality was revealed in full technicolour.
However, facing that anxiety and fear early meant that I’ve now had time to come to terms with it and I can see the positives in this chaotic time. Firstly, I truly believe that the darkest hours come before the dawn. This is going to be incredibly hard for us all, not least the NHS workers and the families of those worst affected, but good will come from it. I don’t say that lightly, throughout my adult life I’ve faced some heart-wrenching situations, but they’ve shaped me and helped me become a better, stronger, kinder person, but you have to start by letting go of the things you can’t control.
Look closely and you can already see the seeds of new behaviours growing in society - whether that’s a global preparedness for future pandemics, a greater respect for our planet, new ways of working that utilise the amazing tech we have available or simply a deeper connection between friends, neighbours and people in general. What if we see this pandemic as a sabbatical from our every day lives; a chance to step off the treadmill and see if we can do things differently, to make life better for everyone.
A year ago, I was rebuilding myself after the darkest few months of my life. I’d become cripplingly ill with anxiety and depression though I kept it relatively well hidden from all but my closest friends. Since then, I’ve worked hard to understand what makes me happy and keeps me well, at least I thought I had. The panic attacks that arrived at the same time as the Coronavirus made me realise that there was still work to be done, highlighting sides of my character that I’d recognised but not bolstered because I was too busy chasing the fun stuff. I’d been so busy trying to say yes to every opportunity and please all those around me, for fear of missing out, that I hadn’t taken the time to nurture the bits of my nature that I didn’t value. Put simply, having an excuse to shut out the noise and demands of the outside world is giving me time to check in with my calmer, quieter, more introverted side.
All year I’ve known that meditation and breathing exercises would help me, but I’ve ignored it because it’s not adrenaline fuelled and is a bit hard really. I’d never normally be able to participate in a 7am guided meditation that a friend is running but take away the usual morning rush and that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. Starting my day with that 15 minutes of calm breathing is carving out space away from the panic and finally I’m learning the skill I need for the future. The same niggling feeling came every time I thought about getting back to writing. To play with words and create pictures, soothes part of me, but the fear of not doing it well stopped me trying. The depth of emotions brought up by the virus, combined with free time, meant I could play with the opening line in my head until a chink of light was visible and the words came flooding out. Suddenly whether they’re deemed ‘good’ or not by others, is irrelevant because the mental benefit of creating something is overwhelming for me.
I’m grateful for the forced time to focus on relationships with my family. Our daughter has special needs and loves being able to identify herself as sporty like her brother and parents. Other than her coming to the odd training session with me and doing her swimming lessons, I’ve been guilty of not making enough effort to find ways to adapt to her abilities. It’s been too easy to prioritise my own love of training and forget about the fun of just moving your body. Thanks to COVID-19 closing the schools my friend Kate has started an online HIIT class for kids. This morning CeCe and I had such a laugh doing it that before long Henry joined in too. CeCe’s list of excuses for stopping mid-workout – including needing to brush her teeth – were creative but it was still the first thing she told her Dad about when he got home this evening.
We don’t live close to extended family which has always upset me, but now t’s irrelevant where they live because we can’t see each other in person anyway. Simply being a family is all that matters and over the last 24 hrs, we’ve had online family gatherings with all of them and even done a Facebook pub quiz, in a team with my brother in Abu Dhabi. I’m sure the kids will remember these chats more than many other face-to-face family gatherings.
I’m incredibly lucky to love my work but a never-ending to do list and a busy family life means I rarely get time to sit and assess what elements of it give me the most satisfaction and why. Where would I like to develop my skills, what will it cost, how would it work? Suddenly I’ve got 3 weeks in my house, all work cancelled, and while I get cupboards decluttered I can take the time to consider these questions.
On a bigger scale we’re acutely aware of the need to reduce carbon emissions, yet globally we seemed paralised by habit and unable to make the changes necessary to cut out wasted journeys. What if the changes we’re being forced to make now mean that we’re able to go back to regular life with fewer wasted journeys because we’ve all become comfortable connecting online or over the phone? Equally, if the shops are closed and you can’t spend money, you realise that it is possible to live on less. Eat less, buy less, consume less in general. What if we took this time to evaluate our spending and what we value and what we’re just caught up in buying for the sake of it?
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| Grateful to still be able to ride with this one on our local trails |
So, while I would give anything for people not to die, for individuals not to suffer financially and for my husband not to be facing the dangers and horrors of Coronavirus every day at work, I will accept my enforced sabbatical from life and see what good I can create from it, so that I am mentally stronger, more resilient and more able to contribute to my life, my family and my community going forwards.